Escalation Windows
Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 | Articles, Dating Advice
See Wayne "Juggler" Elise LIVE. Click here for more details.
by dR
This is a follow-up to yesterday’s article about going for the close.
I’ve sooo been there…she looks SMOKING, with her black mini skirt lingering mid thigh. She sits close that I get wiffs of her perfume. My heart pounds so hard it almost breaks my rib cage because I’m nervous. She talks but I don’t hear anything because all I’m thinking is I NEED TO KISS THIS GIRL.
If you can’t relate, take a look at a “stealthy” video I shot a few nights ago of my friend when the window to kiss this blonde hottie flew wide open.
In my experience I have found that once I’ve kissed a girl, all other sexual escalation become much easier…the purposeful kino gets easier…my push-pulls get more physical…and my sexual barriers become more risky.
But how do I get to that point - from “Hello” to <GAG> as she shoves her tongue down my throat? Here are a few pointers that have helped me:
1. Make it Personal – Unless she is drunk out of her mind on the dance floor stumbling around, she won’t kiss me until she knows something about me and feels comfortable with me. I build this comfort with my personal conversation (Relatable I-Statements) and casual kino.
2. Check Logistics - Specifically with kissing, I check if the boyfriend is around (i.e. at the venue). The last thing I want to see is Raging Bull – Robert De Niro coming after me as I smooch with his Sharon Stone. Oops I just mixed my Martin Scorsese films. Also I check how well she knows her friends. Some girls don’t mind being affectionate around their girlfriends Sex in the City style. But I usually meet more Carries (Sarah Jessica Parker) that don’t like to make out in front of her friends; the Samantha’s (Kim Cattrall) are few and far between. This is when I will try and naturally isolate her.
3. SOI – I tell her I find her SEXY. For more information on SOIs, I wrote more of an explanation here: http://www.charismaarts.com/drs-sexy-list-how-to-tell-a-woman-you-like-her/
4. Sexual Barrier – I can express my sexual intent (ie kiss her) with out putting heaps of pressure on her at that particular moment with a small barrier that she or we can over come. “I would love to kiss you right now, but your friends are watching.” She can over come this by letting me know its OK to kiss her or we can move away from her friends.
5. I let her know how to seduce me – This is fun, because I can let her know how much I love to kiss. I like to describe how I kiss and I make sure to add description and emotion.
6. Purposeful Kino – This is Kino I use after a SOI that has purpose. I will touch her in more intimate spots like her inner thigh or lower back and leave my hand there for a moment. If she doesn’t say anything about my hands, I usually can kiss her.
7. Don’t wait til the end of the night - I’ve always hated the awkward walk to her car and we both know that I’m going for the kiss…YUCK! Kissing in the middle of the date, has always worked best for me.
I keep the seven thoughts above in mind when I go for kiss closes. At this point of the interaction, everything slows down for me. Our eye contact will linger and I feel like I’m in a bubble with her. I don’t see or hear much of anything outside of our bubble and I will lean in and cross that escalation window to kiss her.
Unfortunately for my friend, due to a logistical mix-up he didn’t kiss that girl that night in the video, but I’m confident he will next time.
Be Awesome,
dR
dR is one of our resident LA Instructors and a specialist at meeting women during the day and street stops. If you live in the LA area and want to meet up with dR or have any questions about Kiss Closes send him an email at dr@charismaarts.com.
5 Comments to Escalation Windows
Thanks a lot for posting this dR-dude! Keep writing and rocking buddy!
Pieter
EemeliOctober 28, 2008
I definately have to become bolder in my escalations, so this was a very helpful article. Thanks dR! You also brought up something rather new to me:
“I let her know how to seduce me”
I’d love to hear you and other charisma arts ninjas elaborate on this.
Thanks for reading Pieter and Eemeli.
As for your question Eemeli for “how to let her know how to seduce you”, think of what you enjoy girls doing to you physically to ‘turn you on’.
For Example:
For me, whispering in my ear, is one turn on.
So at some point in the conversation, i will tell her that i really like whispering…the sneakiness of that, in fact, i would love for her/you to whisper in my ear right now.
Something like that.
if you have more questions feel free to email me at dR@charismaarts.com
VabsOctober 28, 2008
“In my experience I have found that once I’ve kissed a girl, all other sexual escalation become much easier…the purposeful kino gets easier…my push-pulls get more physical…and my sexual barriers become more risky.”
I feel this way too…but I have also heard conflicting advice that the kiss is not a necessary step in the escalation.
Do you feel “I NEED to kiss this girl” to get over your own discomfort with the sexual tension, and ‘get it out of the way’? Is there a chance that…yes… you can get the kiss earlier in the night, but in doing so ultimately sabotage the end goal?
I’m seeing a girl right now that will NOT make out with me in a bar, even though we have been intimate. It’s a weird hang up she has, but it is something that I have to work around. She was the same way the night that I met her, but in hindsight there are other things that she responds to…that I might have been able to escalate with and even pull home from the bar BEFORE our first kiss.
Thanks for the comment Vabs,
My intent to kiss a girl is to NOT get over any discomfort with sexual tension but on the contrary increase our sexual escalation. I found kissing lowers girls inhibitions.
What it comes down to it for me is, i like to kiss girls and i don’t think much after that other than, do i want to sleep with this girl? Then escalate from there.
But to your point, i haven’t slept with girls from night game that i didn’t make out with first.
For your situation, i have been around girls who are NOT into PDA, and i think your doing the right thing, just work around it.
good to hear from you buddy and keep up your outstanding work,
dR
Leave a comment
Subscribe to our Updates
Search
Friend Me Up
Recent Comments
- How To: Convert a Phone Number into a Date | The Charismatic Man on What is Your Sticking Point?
- Itay on What is Your Sticking Point?
- Trev64 on How To: Convert a Phone Number into a Date
- Joel on How To: Convert a Phone Number into a Date
- Rob on What is Your Sticking Point?
- Pierre on What is Your Sticking Point?
- Erich aka Roach on Happy Birthday Rob!
October 28, 2008